I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
