I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Dignity is for republicans.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So squirting runs in the family.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
