I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
