Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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