we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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