Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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