What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
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She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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