why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
now i know why i became what i already was.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
