you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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