Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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