When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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