Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
