just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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