Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
