It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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