you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
