I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
