All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
