Buhtt sex?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
