Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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