Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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