That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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