You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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