Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize