forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
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Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
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And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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