Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
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I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
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Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize