You're so nebulous sometimes
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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