I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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