My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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