Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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