i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
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I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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