His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
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Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
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His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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