if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
