First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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