I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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