I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
