carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
