i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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