careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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