Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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