Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
