Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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