I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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