She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize