This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You are a booty call, not a friend.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize