I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
