There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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