just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
