I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
