She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She made me pour olive oil on her.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
