FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
