just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize