It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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