I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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