I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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