maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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