His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Randomize
